


Frostbite

by jhunieilarde



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:48:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27470722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhunieilarde/pseuds/jhunieilarde
Summary: Set after Fight for the Future.After they're back from Antartica, Scully always feel cold even when it's not and Mulder knows something is wrong with her but she's not talking.(one shot)(MSR)
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	Frostbite

Cold…Scully now officially hates winter, or low air-conditioning. She always wears socks when she’s at her apartment and she bought thicker coats and blazers for work. Ever since they got back from Antartica, she associates cold with being in that incubator. Of course, she cannot recall how she got there in the first place. One moment, she’s standing at the hallway talking to Mulder and the next thing she knew, she’s already in another continent being rescued by Mulder himself. He had explained it. He told her every detail leading up the moment she opened her eyes and told the word, “cold”. Normally, she wouldn’t have believed it. She would think he’s crazy or delusional but she was there. She saw the incubators before she passed out while he was carrying her over his shoulder. She saw that _‘thing’_ as it chased them through the vent. She did not see the spaceship though.

Mulder had the luck of stumbling upon a radio in the middle of the snow filled nothingness and called for help after he came to. She held on as long as she could. She tried to make him warm but she’s too weak and dehydrated. Eventually, she lost consciousness too. When she woke up, she’s back in D.C. at the hospital and hooked up to a drip. She couldn’t find Mulder and she was informed that he’s receiving care too from hypothermia just like her. Skinner was there with her though.

Their boss could not believe what happened to them. She could not believe it either but it happened. Then, her mother arrived and looked after her while Skinner moved to Mulder’s room to look after him. She did not know how to explain to her mother what happened. All she knew was that she was there and it’s cold and Mulder had saved her life. Once Mulder felt better, he visited her in her hospital room. He looked like a mess but he got that smile on his face that made her feel safe. He stayed with her until it’s time for her to be released.

They both faced the board and explained what happened. She had presented the bee that almost killed her and left them speechless. They can examine it, frame it, throw it. She does not care as long as it is far from her and very dead. It’s not clear whether that lead them to decide to reopen the X Files after they had been shut down but it delighted Mulder. They’re back on the game. She’s glad for him. She just does not know how she feels about it or about anything. It seems like the coldness in Antartica had reached her heart and frozen it good.

“Do you mind turning up the heat a little? It’s freezing in here”, she snapped in frustration one afternoon at Mulder.

They spent the entire day reorganizing their files after their office was burned down. It was their luck that they thought about scanning some of them before someone set the whole thing on fire. The archives of the bureau got a complete record too. After the reconstruction of the office, they started compiling the cases again. It took so much of their time considering there were a lot of X File cases. That day, for instance, is one of those day where they sat through the whole morning rebuilding their inventory. She did not mean to snap on Mulder but she’s cold and she does not like being cold anymore. It reminds of the things she would rather forget.

“Freezing? I just turned it up a notch earlier. My balls are already sweating, Scully”, he argued.

She glared at him and saw his discarded coat hanging on his chair.

“Fine. Tossed your coat on me then”, she demanded and he obliged.

He watched as she put the oversize coat on her and gave a little shiver. She really is cold and he was puzzled considering it’s really hot at their office with the way they set the air-conditioning.

“Are you okay, Scully?” he asked in concern.

The doctor has cleared her. He’s sure of that because he bugged that doctor to death so he would tell him everything. There’s nothing wrong with Scully physically. There’s no alien substance left in her system after they shoved that huge tube down her throat and put her inside that incubator filled with god knows what fluid. She’s healthy in a medical sense but he notices the way she dresses these days. She rarely takes of her trench coat inside the building. She’s sometimes wearing a cardigan underneath her blazer. He’s pretty sure he saw a glimpse of her stockings underneath her slack pants. When he came to see her once in her apartment, she’s wrapped in a huge sweater and thick pajamas with matching socks. She’s overly cold for the weather they have. It’s not Ber months to be that cold yet.

“I’m fine, Mulder…just cold”, she answered without looking at him.

She wanted the day to be over so she can go home and turn the heat up without anyone complaining that it’s hot or soak herself in warm water to calm her nerves. That sounds nice to her ears.

“Hey, do you want me to come over later? Bring some old movies and order a box of pizza and beers?” he offered.

He wanted them to talk, like really talk. They haven’t got a chance to do that after Antartica. Scully had been hospitalized for two weeks and they both faced the board right after. Then, the X Files got reopen and they got busy rebuilding everything. He still calls her at night before she falls asleep just to make sure she’s fine and she’s not taken away again but it’s not enough. He wanted to know how she’s holding up. Scully has a tendency to bottle up her emotions and make everyone thinks she’s just _fine_. He heard her sighed deeply before putting down her pen.

“I’m not really in the mood for old movies and pizza right now, Mulder. I just want this part of our jobs to be over so we can start working on cases”, she declined.

Her voice is not sharp anymore so that’s a good thing but she sounded resigned, like she’s really tired.

“That’s cool. It’s alright. Don’t worry. I can take some of these at home and continue working on gluing them together. You know I don’t sleep so might as well get productive than watching nonsense things on the TV, right?” he said in a teasing tone to brighten up her mood but her expression did not change.

She acknowledged his initiative though and nodded.

“That’s great idea, Mulder. I might do that tomorrow but not tonight. I reached my quota for the day”, she responded and resumed working.

At least, she’s talking and responding to him but he wishes she will let him know how she truly feels. He tells her how he feels even when she does not want to hear it, his fears. Late at night when he calls her, he cannot help but express himself and let her in his world. He tells her how scared he is to lose her again, how he was so hesitant in letting her be his partner again when the X Files was reopened because he is scared that _they_ will take her away again. She responds and assures him that she’ll be fine and that it’s all over but she never allowed him to know how she feels. He knows she’s not fine or at least, there’s a takeaway from the whole Antartica experience for her. She was put inside an incubator for crying out loud. There has to be something but even if there is, she’s not letting it show. It’s like nothing happened.

When Scully got home, she did what she envision earlier at the office. She turned up the heat in her apartment and soaked herself with warm water in her tub and relaxes. She likes the warmth of it, the water, the whole apartment. It grounds her. It tells her that she’s back at home, that she’s far away from Antartica.

Lying on the bed is the hardest part of her day. Everything comes down to her when she’s lying there by herself, facing the ceiling. Who knows what those people did to her body this time but she feels odd. There were times when she will run to the bathroom to empty her stomach for no apparent reason. There were days she looked so pale and then days when she looked healthy. It’s like her whole being is swinging like a pendulum. She also stopped turning the lights off when she goes to bed. She sleeps with her gun under her pillow and her phone within her reach. She added locks on her door and she never open her windows. She made her apartment a fortress to feel safe. But even with all that changes, she is still having a hard time willing herself to sleep. She’s no psychologist but she knows it stems with her fear that if she falls asleep, she will just be trap in a nightmare that occurs every single night. It’s always the same.

She’s inside that incubator filled with liquid. She wanted to move, to kick down the hard glass and break free but she cannot move a limb. Her throat burns and she cannot talk. Something is in her mouth, down her throat…inside her body. She can feel whatever it is sucking her life out of her as something moves inside her stomach. Then, a sharp pain hits her as the alien ripped her stomach to break free.

That’s when she wakes up…every single time. Scully will always find herself sitting on her bed in sweat, panting as if she ran a marathon and her phone would ring. It’s always Mulder. He always checks up on her every night. She wanted to tell him about her nightmare but he got his own demons to fight. He would tell her about his fears, mostly about her, and his doubts about their work, if it’s all worth it. She immediately falls into her role as his partner and she calms him down, assures him that everything is going to be alright even though she feels like she’s going to fall apart. If only she can be as open as Mulder, things may have been easier for her to deal with but she cannot.

Tonight is different. She’s not only been woken up by her usual nightmare but also with the cold breeze of air entering her room from her opened window. It sent shivers all over her and she pulled her blanket and wrapped it all over her body. She quickly closed the window she cannot remember leaving open and went to the thermostat and turn up the heat. Scully waited for the coldness to disappear but she remained feeling it. The nightmare is still fresh in her mind and the cold makes it feel more real, like she’s back there going through it all over again.

Scully found herself dialing frantically on her phone before she can stop herself. Her breathing is rapid as her heart pounded fast in her chest.

 _“Mulder”,_ he answered.

Nothing came out of her mouth. What should she say to him? I had a nightmare and I might be having a panic attack because of it?

 _“Scully? Everything alright?”_ he asked sensing it was her.

“Mulder…” is all she managed to say before she dropped the phone.

Her hands are shaking. Her entire body is shaking. Her teeth are clattering and her legs gave in. Scully’s back hit the edge of her bedframe but she did not feel it because she’s numb. She tried to level her breathing and calm herself down but she cannot think clearly, not when her body is telling her that she’s back in Antartica and she’s trapped once again…and who opened the damn window? She did not open it before she went to bed. It increased her panic and she’s now hyperventilating.

“It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real”, she mumbled as she rocks back and forth while hugging herself with a thick blanket.

Meanwhile, Mulder almost sent his car flying as soon as the line got cut off. He heard the way Scully breathed on the other line and he knew she’s not alright. He did not think twice and he grabbed his keys and drove as fast as his car will allow to her apartment. Thank goodness, she gave him a key so he does not have to wake the entire building if he knocks on her door. As soon as he opened the door, the humidity greeted him. Her apartment felt like summer on the beach. He recalled her complaining about being cold for days now and he has no idea it’s this worse.

“Scully?!” he called but no one answered so he ran to her bedroom.

The sight of her cocooned in her blanket while shaking broke his heart. Despite her claim to be cold, she’s drenched in her own sweat. Her breathing is irregular that she’s close to passing out.

“Scully, it’s me. You have to breathe slow, okay? Come on. Inhale and exhale, just like this…”

He urges her to breathe on the same pace as him which she struggled at first but soon she got the rhythm.

“Mulder…it’s, cold…” she muttered.

It is not cold. It is far from cold. He just got in and he’s already sweating.

“No, Scully. It’s hot in here. It’s in your head”, he explained but she shook her head.

“I’m cold, Mulder”, she insisted.

“You’re sweating”, she put her hand over his arm and her hand is cold. “It’s your blood flow being redirected to your important organs. It results to poor blood flow to your hands and feet making them feel cold but it’s not cold in here”, he explained calmly.

She blinked at him and processed what he said. She’s a medical doctor and he knows that she knew that information somehow but forgotten it because she’s having a panic attack. It is starting to make sense in her.

“Cold intolerance”, she diagnosed to herself and he nodded.

He slowly removed the blanket around her before grabbing her fresh pajamas from her closet so she can get out of soaked sweatshirt.

“Let’s go to the bathroom. Maybe warm shower will help”, he suggested.

Scully did not protest and continue to fight her brain that’s telling that it’s cold. She trusts Mulder when he said that it’s not. It must be in her head because she saw herself in the mirror and she looked like a drenched rat. He stayed at the living room while she showered. By the time she went out to find him, he had already turned down the heat to normal. There’s a cup of tea waiting for her too.

“Come on, G-woman. This tea has been waiting for you”, he invited and she joined him on the sofa.

She tucked her feet under his thighs and he did not complain. Her feet and hands still feel cold but she now knows there’s a medical explanation for that. It also means that she’s suffering from PTSD. She hates to admit that to herself but there’s no point in hiding it because Mulder had already seen it.

“I keep being pulled back there…underground, stuck inside that thing. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. My throat hurts because of whatever that’s in my mouth. Something broke out of my stomach and it hurts like hell. I was so helpless. There’s nothing I can do because I was just frozen and it’s cold. It’s so cold. Every time I close my eyes, I always ended up back there and when I wake up, it’s always cold”, she admitted while staring at her cup of tea.

He sighed and put his arm around her.

“I was so worried you will never let it out. I knew something’s up but I don’t want to push you. Somehow, I knew you will tell me in your own time. You know it’s only normal to feel this way, to have nightmares. Any normal people will be the same. It did not happen to me but it gives me nightmare too. It’s how our brain process things. Whoever designed it to be is completely fucked up but it is what it is. Just know that it’s all over. We are here. I am here with you always. You can try to get away from and go to the end of the world but I will always, always find you no matter what”, he said.

She sniffled.

“Is it really over though for us? We’re a threat for them. I don’t think it will be over”, she asked.

“Do you want to stop? Just say the word and we will call the whole thing off. Those conspiracies can go fuck themselves. I will not put you through that again. We can drop everything now and go away as far as we can. Start anew”, he asked her back.

Scully frowned.

“Are you serious? Mulder, this is your life’s work. This is your only way to find out what happened to your sister”, she cannot believe what he just told her.

“That remains true but how many people in our lives have we lost because of my pursuit? We can stop those conspirators right now. Stop the Smoking Man but there will always be people like Smoking Man. There will be always be people who would want to control the world and the truth. I have lost everything already, Scully. I almost lost you so many times. I will not let anything happen to you again just because of my crusade. You’re more important to me. You’re my everything”, he caressed her face and wiped her tears. “Just say the word and we’ll get out of here…just you and me”, he added.

It’s all she wanted. She wanted peace. They both have seen too much darkness since they started being partners. If they’re meant to do good, to help people, to fight for the truth and justice, haven’t they paid enough for their dues?

“What will we do then?” she asked.

Mulder hummed and think.

“Well, you’re a doctor so that’s settled for you. I can go to teaching in a college somewhere or start a private investigating agency…nothing big, just enough to help those who really needs it, or I can write a book. I don’t know. Anything we can think of under the sun, as long as we’re together”, he answered.

She smiled at the thought of a new life for them where they don’t have to worry about getting abducted or getting shot at.

“That sounds nice”, she muttered.

“So, what do you say? All I need is an answer”, he asked.

She can hope in his eyes. He actually wanted this, to leave the darkness behind and start somewhere and live.

“Alright, Mulder. The answer is yes. We drop everything and just go”, she answered and he returned a very satisfied smile.

He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. He has been thinking about that ever since he saw her in the hospital after they got back from Antartica. She was unconscious when he first visited her. He was not allowed to leave his bed yet but he wanted to see her so he snuck out of his room one night and went to see her. She looked so peaceful on her bed but she’s pale. There were red patches on her skin from frostbite and chilblains. He had asked himself that night how many times he had seen her like that before and the answer was too many. In his pursuit, it’s always her that suffers the consequences. She keeps telling him that it’s her choice to join him and his mission and he knows that but he cannot lose her because he had appointed himself to find the truth that is out there. There will be other people who can do that job. There will always be one Dana Katherine Scully and if he loses her, he doesn’t know what to do with his life then. And so, he planned an out for them both. He thought about a lot what they can do if they leave FBI, where they can live…and he’s glad that she said yes because losing her for his work is not worth it. It will never be worth it. Leaving his work for her is worth it.

The next day, they both submitted their resignation letters to Skinner who was shocked by their decision especially after the X Files had been reopened. They stated their reasons and despite being sad about them leaving, Skinner can understand why they have to. No one deserves to go through the things they went through. So, he granted their resignations and Mulder and Scully left the bureau.

They informed Scully’s family about their decision next and Maggie and Bill are beyond happy to know that she’s finally away from facing bullets. Bill is even happy to know that she’s going away with Mulder. The big brother was impressed with Mulder’s guts to leave everything for his sister and with that act, he had proven himself worthy of Scully in Bill’s eyes. Mulder does not need his approval though. He did not do it for Bill. He did it for Scully.

“You two will take care, alright? Let us know when you finally found a place to settle in and we can come visit”, Maggie said as they bid them goodbye.

“Yes, Mom. We will call you”, Scully said and hugged her mother.

Maggie then pulled Mulder in her arms.

“Thank you, Fox”, she whispered and those three words already told him a lot.

Thank you for freeing Scully from darkness.

Thank you for sparing her from going through more ordeal.

Thank you for allowing her to have a life.

“I’ll take care of her. I promise”, he replied and she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“I know, Fox”, Maggie muttered.

The two got in the car filled with their suitcases and Mulder started the engine.

“Ready to go, Scully?” he asked.

Scully smiled and took a deep breath before meeting his eyes.

“Ready as I will ever be”, she answered.

He smiled back.

“Off we go…” he muttered and drove off to wherever life might take them.

~FIN~


End file.
